No Looking Back
by FinchelMoncheleLovers
Summary: Rachel Berry has just started college after years of torture, heartbreak, and bullying in high school. Unfortunately she learns that you can't run from your past, especially when those responsible are still a part of your life. AU Finchel
1. Chapter 1

**Just want to say a big ole thank you for even clicking on this story and being interested in my story. :D Sorry for any mistakes btw, let me know if anything is unclear to you.**

 **This entire story is dedicated to Cory Monteith and the legacy and love he left behind. :) We love you so much Cory!**

 **Enjoy!**

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Rachel yawned, walking down the hallway of her busy dorm room on her way to her room. As usual, there were countless students walking the halls. Some were waiting in line for one of few bathrooms on this floor, some were waiting for one of the washing machines to be free, there was even a couple like were literally making out against the wall.

This kind of busyness was common in this dorm room, well, any dorm room at Ohio State really. They had some of the rowdiest dorms, frat houses, and sororities in the state of Ohio. But of the colleges she could afford, they had the best music program.

Her dream school had been NYADA in New York City, but there was no way she could afford a prestigious school like that. Not since the fallout between her and her fathers, the end of which resulted in her fathers refusing to pay for her schooling as well refusing to speak to her.

She had to apply for financial aid and multiple scholarships just to make sure she wouldn't be in debt for the rest of her life. And her dads hadn't budged once, and she hadn't talked to them for over six months, since the day of her high school graduation when they fought about her future.

Despite having raised her in a musical environment, once she was denied acceptance to NYADA they thought she should go with a major that was more practical. They tried to get her to apply to law school and pre-med programs, but she refused them everytime they brought it up.

Suffice to say, their last fight involved lots of yelling, crying, and threats. She wasn't going to give up her musical dreams just because her ideal college didn't accept her.

Since then she'd fallen back on her best friend Santana, who let her stay at her parents' house the months leading up to their departure to Ohio State. Then they moved together, sharing Santana's VW Bug on the drive to Columbus, revelling in the freedom of no longer being under their parents wing.

While Santana joined a sorority, Gamma Phi Beta, which was strictly for girls in the athletic department (Santana was there on a cheerleading scholarship), Rachel was stuck in one of the many overfilled dorms on campus.

And her roommate, don't even get her started on her roommate. Lauren Zizes was a nice enough girl, but very blunt and often brought over weird sexual partners. She was absolutely obsessed with Twilight and her own computer (which she sometimes used to hack into the school system, illegally may she add), and would even practice wrestling moves with her teammates, all of whom were very large and bulky.

That meant she didn't hang out in her dorm room often. She bided her time staying around the library or the school's theatre department. In fact, she'd just come from backstage at the theatre where she was helping to paint sets for the school play.

Not only did she pride herself with being an avid member of the theatre community by helping out any chance she got, but she'd even managed to snag the lead roll of Margaret Pollitt in _Cat On A Hot Tin Roof_ , this years fall play.

So yeah, the drama and music programs were pretty much her life. And other than that she didn't have much of a social life. Or friends for that matter, just Santana and hey girlfriend Brittany who was super nice and sweet to her, albeit a little dense sometimes.

Occasionally she be dragged along with Santana and Brittany while they went out on the town with some of the other students at the college. But they weren't too bad. She knew a couple of them from high school and from various classes around the college.

The only other person she had really talked to outside of school assignments was a young boy her age named Blaine Anderson. He was also part of the drama program and was set to play her onstage husband, Brick.

He was quiet and polite but had his own little circle of friends that she didn't want to butt in on.

That left her a little lonely most of the time, with Santana constantly at cheer practice, in class, or with Brittany. God she needed a life. It was just too bad she was too chicken to go to the numerous parties Santana invited her to at her sorority.

Finally reaching her dorm room, she cautiously swung the door open, relieved to see that Lauren wasn't here right now, probably had a wrestling match given it was Friday night, a typical time for a sporting event.

She collapsed on her bed, happy to lay in silence and rest her aching body. It had been a long week and her dance class was making her exhausted. It was by far her hardest class because of the three major skills in theatre, dancing was her weakest point, she'd always excelled in singing and acting thankfully.

Closing her eyes, she promised herself she'd only sleep for an hour. Her music theory homework was currently burning a hole in her book bag and she was not a procrastinator.

The sudden buzz of her cell phone made her groan, and she turned on her side to face the little table, squinting to see if the text was even worth moving for.

Seeing the little lipstick emoji that accompanied Santana's name, she reached for the phone and slid it open, pulling up her text messages.

 _Where R U chica? -S_

Rachel narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Santana was obviously up to something. Usually when she started a text message like that, she wanted to drag Rachel somewhere that she probably wouldn't enjoy. Like a party or a bar, most likely.

 _In my dorm room... Why? -R_

She waited another minute for Santana to type her response, yawning again. She really hoped Santana didn't want her to go out, she was way too tired.

 _Good. Get ur tiny ass dressed. Britts & I R going out. & Ur coming with us. -S _

Rachel groaned. Did she know her best friend or what? She knew Santana was going to drag her out somewhere.

 _San, I'm really tired, it's been a long week. I don't want to go out. -R_

Santana's reply came almost instantly, like she had already anticipated what Rachel's response would be.

 _U either get dressed willingly, or Britts & I will do it for u. Ur choice ;) -S_

Rachel sighed, she knew Santana would actually do that. They'd done it before, in fact. Santana held her down and Brittany dressed her. It was both frustrating and embarrassing for her.

Another ping told her Santana texted her again.

 _Wear somethin warm. We'll be there in 15. -S_

She rubbed her temples, pushing herself up off the bed and heading over to her small wardrobe on her side of the room. She picked a little maroon skirt and black tights, grabbing a cream coloured top to finish it off.

Just as she'd covered up some of the bags under her eyes, there was a knock on the door, signalling Santana and Brittany's arrival.

"So where exactly are you forcing me to go tonight?" Rachel huffed in greeting, crossing her arms over her chest.

Brittany smiled her usually chipper smile and leaned forward to hug Rachel, oblivious to Rachel's annoyance at being dragged out just when she was preparing to settle down for the night.

Santana rolled her eyes, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "Calm your tits Berry. It's on campus, so you won't need to go far. You need to get out more anyways. And I don't mean to the theatre. You spend more time there than your own dorm room."

Rachel grumbled in compliance, swinging her bag around her shoulder and shutting the door, locking it behind her.

"Is your avoidance of telling me the truth because you know I won't like it? Or is it because I'll actually enjoy it and you want to surprise me." Rachel asked as they took off down the stairs, seriously doubting it was the latter.

Santana laughed at Rachel's surliness. "You'll see. Just get your ass in the car." Santana unlocked her car and slid in the drivers seat.

Rachel nodded and figured whatever it was couldn't be that bad, so she got into the backseat, Santana taking off moments later.

They pulled into the parking lot and Rachel shook her head, refusing to get out of the car. "No. No way. I'm not going to this stupid football game." She totally spaced that there was a football game right now.

She thought it was suspicious that Santana and Brittany were wearing their uniforms.

"Come on Berry. We have someone waiting for you." Santana turned to look at her.

So that was why she dragged her out here. She was trying to set Rachel up with a guy no doubt.

"San, I appreciate that you care, but I really don't need you to set me up on blind dates. If I wanted to find a date, I would do so on my own." Rachel told her seriously.

Santana shook her head adamantly. "We already promised him you'd be here. And he's actually a pretty good guy, not at all like the last guy."

Ahh the last guy Santana set him up with. He was a creepy guy from the tech department with the ugliest Afro she'd ever seen, and beady little eyes that raked over her body the entire night. She was pretty sure all be did that night was undress her with his eyes.

Rachel snorted. "Yeah, I'm not going to trust your judgement when it comes to guys ever again."

Brittany giggled and faced Rachel too. "He's a sweet guy. I met him on my way to the locker room. He's on the swim team and he's a big music fan. He's also the guy that didn't laugh when I said my cat pooped a snickers bar once."

Rachel sighed, used to Brittany's crazy stories. "Alright alright. But please guys, no more setting me up on dates okay? I'm trying to focus on the play right now." Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah yeah, story of your life." Santana rolled her eyes as she got out of the car, the other two following suit.

Brittany linked arms with Santana as the three of them made their way into the stadium, stopping near the food court where Santana said the guy was waiting.

Brittany squealed and waved to someone behind Rachel, making Rachel turn around to see a rather tall boy walking towards them. His dark blonde hair was formed into a small quiff at the top of his forehead and he had his hands stuffed into his pants pockets as he made their over to them, giving Brittany a hug.

Santana who had been looking at her watch incessantly, patted Rachel on the back. "Berry, meet Sam Evans, resident guppy fish and member of the swim team."

Brittany giggled as Sam blushed and shook Rachel's hand. "Nice to meet you Rachel." He smiled politely.

"Likewise, Sam." Rachel smiled back. There was something very friendly about his smile that made her feel comfortable, not awkward like she usually experienced when set up with a guy.

And he was cute enough, she just didn't really feel any kind of sexual attraction to him at all. _Ugh, no. Stop it Rachel. Don't dismiss him after a mere two minutes in his presence._ She told her sternly, pulling her hand away.

Santana pulled Brittany to her. "Well, you two kids have fun. We have to get down to the locker rooms for Coach Sue's pep talk or we'll be at the bottom of the pyramid for the rest of the month. Don't forget to use condoms, kids." Santana smirked, wiggling her eyebrows amidst Rachel's death glare.

The couple disappeared through one of the doors leadin downstairs where the locker rooms were, leaving Rachel standing alone with Sam.

"She's something isn't she?" Sam chuckled when he noticed Rachel glaring after her friend.

Rachel shook her head, focusing her attention back on the boy in front of her. "That's not exactly how I'd describe her."

Sam laughed outright at that, placing his hand on the small of her back as he led her over to the concessions counter. "Well, I don't have to deal with her everyday," He shrugged with a smile, "Can I get you something? Pretzel maybe?" He reached into his back pocket to grab his wallet.

"Sure, that sounds nice. Thank you." She bit her lip as she watched him. His lips were rather large, but being someone with a large nose, she wasn't one to judge someone based on their facial features.

He ordered who pretzels and two bottled waters, passing one of each to her as she thanked him. "So how do you know Santana and Brittany?" Rachel asked conversationally as they headed to the stands.

"I met Brittany over the summer. They were renovating the locker rooms by the pool so we were using the football locker rooms and I ran into her as we were both leaving. She liked the keychains I had on my duffle bag. And then we just got to talking. I met Santana a little while later."

Rachel nodded and giggled at Brittany's antics. Brittany had an obsession with keychains. She had them on her key ring, backpack, duffle bag, and any other item she could.

"That sounds like Brittany alright." She sat down on the red, metal bleacher next to Sam, ripping off a piece of pretzel.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, she's a really sweet girl. What about you? When did you meet them?" He asked.

"I met Santana in elementary school. She was the only girl in my entire class that never talked maliciously about me behind my back. When she does say something, it's to my face and she does it with love. Even if she won't admit it." Rachel chuckled.

Sam laughed again, waiting for Rachel to continue. "As for Brittany, they met at some cheerleading competition sophomore year. They were from rival schools but they fell in love anyways. They've been inseparable since and so I've gotten to know Brittany very well." Rachel explained, Sam listening aptly.

They spent the next twenty minutes or so like that. Both talking about their majors, she in music and him going for a general studies degree, unsure of what he really wanted to do yet.

She quite liked Sam, he was easy to talk to and was a very good listener. She just still wasn't feeling any kind of spark. She desperately wished she did (because she really did want some kind of companionship, only having one boyfriend in the past) because Sam was a really nice guy.

She saw a sea of scarlet and grey appearing on the track surrounding the field and she smiled when she saw Santana and Brittany stretching and preparing for the game.

"So um, Rachel?" Sam asked after a couple minutes of silence, the stands getting fuller and fuller as each minute ticked by and it got closer to the start of the game.

He looked a little nervous, his avoiding gaze making her nervous too. "Yeah? Is something wrong?" She asked, tugging her coat a little tighter around her as a breeze whipped across the field.

"I just, I have to te

ll you something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way. I'm uh, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. I know Brittany and Santana had planned this to be a date, because cmon. I know when I'm being set up." Sam wrung his hands like he was afraid it was going to hurt Rachel.

On the contrary though, Rachel was rather relieved. She didn't want to be the one to tell Sam that she didn't see a relationship with him going anywhere.

So she smiled and put her hand on his arm comfortingly. "I completely understand Sam. In fact, I'm not looking for one either. This is my first year at the university and I really need to focus on my studies. I didn't even know about this setup until half an hour ago." She laughed when Sam let out a relieved breath.

"I can't tell you how relieved that makes me Rachel. I really didn't want to lead you on but I wasn't sure if you were wanting something more. I'm just not ready." Sam looked happier now that he'd gotten that off his chest, the air around them feeling more relaxed.

Rachel was also feeling pretty happy now. Who would've thought she'd gain a new friend from one of Santana's failed set up attempts. "I get it, I do. But if you don't mind me asking, what happened exactly?"

Sam deflated a little, "Her name was Mercedes. She's a super talented singer, so talented that she thought she'd head to L.A and try her luck with some record companies. I didn't fit into that plan I guess. She said she didn't want me to go to L.A just because she was. So she broke up with me." Sam shrugged.

Rachel rubbed his arm, feeling sorry she even brought it up. "Well it's her loss. You seem like a great guy. You'll find someone, I know it." Rachel said confidently.

Sam looked up at her with a grateful smile. "Thanks Rachel. You're a pretty good friend." He bumped her shoulder with his playfully.

"I do try." She giggled, feeling much more at ease. She could see herself becoming great friends with Sam. Her first real guy friend! Maybe he could tell her why most guys found her so off-putting and stayed clear of her.

They chatted a bit more and finished off their food just as the static from the speakers signalled the start of the game. He announced the opposing team; the Iowa Hawkeyes, which was met with string of boos on the home end and cheers on the guest end.

"Annnnnnnd now your home team; The OHIO BUCKEYES! Let's hear it!" The announcer yelled as the marching band began to play the schools anthem and the flag team ran down the field spelling out the word 'Buckeyes'.

Rachel and Sam stood up and cheered with the rest of the student body, all around them a sea of grey and maroon t-shirts and jackets. They announced each of the players in turn and Rachel focused on each in turn, trying to see if she recognized any of them from one of her classes. As a result of getting there super early, they got really nice seats, right above the the sideline where the players would be.

Her eyes zeroed in on one player in particular, knowing he was on the field somewhere, and sure enough his stupid haircut was blatantly obvious even from the stands.

Just the sight of him made her sick. Noah Puckerman, the biggest douchebag to ever cross her path. She met him in high school thanks to a certain other person and he'd done nothing but make her life hell. Him and his high school girlfriend Kitty.

While Kitty had turned over a new leaf after high school, Puck continued to be a complete unemotional ass. She was extremely annoyed to learn he had also gotten accepted to this university and had then tried her best to ignore him.

Thankfully, that had been pretty easy ever since she broke up with _him_ , but the thought of even talking to Puck again made her nauseous.

He caused so many problems in high school and seeing him brought all that back. The bullying from Puck and Kitty, _him_ standing up for her when Puck picked on her. It all made her glad high school was over.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sam asked, placing a concerned hand on her arm.

Rachel shook her head and snapped out of her thoughts, figuring she probably looked like a maniac just staring at Puck.

She faked a smile, "Yeah I'm okay, just getting caught up in my own thoughts."

Sam nodded. "You just looked spooked for a second, staring down at the players. You know one of them?" He asked.

She sighed, deciding she might as well tell him. Not like it really mattered anymore anyways. "Yeah. Noah Puckerman, I used to go to high school with him. I dated his ex-best friend."

Sam looked a little surprised. "You know Puck? Judging by your tone I take it you're not exactly on good terms, huh?"

Rachel chuckled a little, "Definitely not on the best of terms. Never were really. He and his then-girlfriend pretty much tortured me in high school. Things got pretty ugly and he hurt me and my ex in unforgivable ways." Rachel shivered.

"Wow, I'm so sorry Rachel, I had no idea. I mean, I knew Puck was an ass, but I didn't know he was that bad." Sam placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know how it feels, I was bullied too."

Rachel smiled up at him sadly, glad that he understood. She didn't have many people that she could connect with on this. Santana had gone through something similar when she first came out, but once the drama of it died out, things were okay for her. It helped that Santana didn't take any shit and had a thick skin. She was a lot more intimidating than than her. The bullying didn't happen everyday like it did for Rachel.

"Thanks Sam. And I'm sorry too. People can really suck can't they?" She licked her lips, looking straight ahead. She didn't think for a second that just seeing Puck would reopen old wounds. She was kinda hoping she could just avoid everyone from high school and never have to relive any of that hell.

"Yeah, they can. But its okay. We'll show em, when we're living our dreams and they're working at McDonalds for the rest of their lives. Best thing we can do is try and let go of the past and focus on the future." Sam said, chugging his water and squeezing her hand determinedly.

Rachel smiled a little that. "The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." She quoted, squeezing his hand back. She loved that quote, it had always been one of her favourites from the _Lion King_. And it brought back so many memories, both happy and painful.

Sam chuckled. "Hey, that's from the _Lion King_ , right?" He grinned to himself when she nodded. "That's funny, my friend Finn is always saying that same quote."

Though Sam didn't notice since the game had just begun, her smile dropped off her face immediately at his words. She had no idea Sam knew _him_.

Yeah, that was funny indeed.

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 **Whooo! First chapter! And yes, this is a repost of another story I've deleted. I didn't like the way it was going so I decided to revamp/delete the old one.**

 **Not really any Finchel interaction yet, but I have to give you all some basis for this world they live in! Mostly just some established friendships like Pezberry & Samchel (because that's all Samchel will EVER be if I have anything to say about it lol). **

**Hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, please leave a review/fav/follow. Can we get 10 reviews for this story? :D**

 **10 reviews = next chapter**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello dear readers, hope you're all having a good start to the fall season. I myself am pretty swamped with school and work.**

 **But here's the newest chapter, I know it took longer than anyone was expecting, but ya, life.**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

 **Love you always, Cory. This is for you :)**

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Finn Hudson sighed as the football stadium came into view. The bright lights illuminated the sky above and made everything around it seem darker. Just seeing the stadium made him miss football just enough that he actually felt emotional about it.

Football had been the one thing in high school that he was exceptional at, so much so that he managed to snag Quarterback in his freshman year. As leader, he'd brought the team to two championships before the inevitable end of his run junior year.

After all that had happened junior year, football felt tainted. Instead of brining him happiness, it only brought up feelings of fear and worry. Two things that shouldn't be associated with an extracurricular activity.

But he couldn't change what happened even if he tried, so he searched elsewhere for happiness. He found it when he met Mike Chang, who had been a new student during Finn's junior year. Mike became his best friend and confidant, someone who was kind. It was what he really needed in a friend, especially after seeing how _Puck_ had turned out.

Just thinking his name left a sour taste in his mouth and made his blood boil. Noah Puckerman, the cause of so much drama during his high school years. It was unfortunate that they made it into the same school, but luckily he rarely even caught a glimpse of the bastard.

He was in a much better place now though. He finally had a good circle of friends that respected him and treated him well.

"Earth to Finn." A voice snapped him out of his reverie, a hand waving in front of his face wildly.

"W-what? Sorry, what?" He focused his gaze back on his group of friends, pinking a little as they all laughed a little at the dumbstruck look on his face.

Ryder Lynn chuckled, slapping him on the back. "You okay, dude? You were kinda just standing there staring at the stadium with your eyes glazed over."

Finn nodded, watching as Mike and his other friend Jake Puckerman fooled around ahead them, trying to leap-frog over eachother. "Yeah I'm good. Just lost in thought I guess."

"You looked constipated. Do you need some pepto?" His other friend Sebastian Smythe teased, his hands in a hoodie as he smirked at Finn jokingly.

Finn had long ago learned that Sebastian's comments were never really malicious, at least towards him. Sebastian had a dark, teasing sense of humour that not everyone understood. But Finn knew he didn't mean anything by it. If Sebastian were trying to be intentionally cruel, everyone would know it.

"Guys I'm good, seriously. Let's head in there before all the good spots are taken." Finn pressed, wanting all the attention off him.

It must've worked because Ryder nodded in agreement. "That's true. I don't want to get stuck behind all those preps."

"Remind me, why are we coming to this game?" Jake asked as he and Mike rejoined the group and they showed their student ID's to security at the front gates.

"It's not like any of these idiots would ever come to one of our meets. Why should we go to the football games to support them?" Sebastian asked crossly.

Mike slipped an arm around Finn's shoulders. "C'mon guys, it's called having school pride. Why not experience all we can here? I think going to a college football game is something that all college students need to do."

Sebastian snorted. "Thanks for your positive outlook on life, Mike. But the only reason we're here is because Ryder is fucking whipped."

Ryder narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, looking offended. "I resent that, I am not." He huffed, the tips of his ears turning a dark pink.

"He's got a point." Jake chimed in, stepping to one side of Ryder while Sebastian came up to other. "Why else would you be so insistent on coming to a football game. You cant even stand to watch football on TV because of how over hyped it is."

Ryder looked between the two of them, half annoyed-half amused. "Is it such a crime to want to be there for your girlfriend? It's Marley's first college game and she's nervous about performing."

"Nah, I still say you're just whipped." Sebastian shrugged while Jake laughed and they teased Ryder a little more. The three of them got in line for concessions and Finn was just about to join them when Mike gently grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

His friend look concerned, his eyebrows knotted together. "Are you going to be okay? I know being around a football field is weird for you. Especially considering who is here. Do you think you can make it? Cuz if not we'll totally just head over to McKinnley's and grab some hot wings."

Finn smiled, grasping Mike's shoulder blade with one of his large hands. "Yeah man, I'll be alright. I gotta get over this somehow. I've spent too long doing everything I can to avoid it. Plus, I've got you there. That period of my life is over and I won't let it plague me now." Finn assured him, trying to remember everything his therapist told him last year.

Mike grinned back, pulling away to fist bump Finn before they joined the other three. "I'm glad to see you're starting to change your mindset, bro. This is going to be a great year, I can feel it."

Finn nodded in agreement, thankful for his friends' optimism. He sure didn't feel a lot of optimism when his ex-best friend was going to the same school as him. The same person that was responsible for such much hurt in his life.

"Hey, we're going to head to the bleachers and find some good seats. I wanna get somewhere by the band so I can talk to Marley." Ryder fist bumped Mike as they past them, having already gone through the line.

Finn watched them go, facing the front of the line as the poor kid managing the concessions spilled soda all over the counter. "So why couldn't Sam come with us again?" Finn asked.

He remembered Sam muttering some excuse about having another commitment. Sam was an awesome dude, and they'd really hit it off over the summer during swim practice, but sometimes he couldn't tell what he was saying.

"Hot date apparently. Some friend of his on the cheer squad has a single friend and she set them up on a blind date. I think they're coming to the game tonight. He told me during drills this morning." Mike explained as they finally got to the front of the line.

He kind of wished someone would set him up on a blind date. Sure, he had no problem getting a girls attention, but he just didn't have the confidence anymore. Not since... _her_.

He didn't even like saying her name in his head. It brought up too many feelings in him similar to what Puck's name did to him. He hadn't talked to her since graduation. A few months probably didn't seem like a lot, but it was the longest he'd ever gone without talking to her since they met freshman year.

But the last time they spoke she made it pretty clear she was done with him. He couldn't blame her exactly. He was a freakin loser with no real ambitions in life. He was here getting a general studies degree because he didn't know what he wanted to do. Like, at all.

It just sucked that they went to the same school. They certainly had not planned it to be this way but when they both applied to OSU, they'd been together. So the idea of going to the same college and seeing each other everyday had been a good thing. Now? Not so much.

He grumbled and tried to push her out of his mind. He'd been feeling a little too nostalgic tonight, blame it on being back in a football field. He just needed to sit back, relax with his friends, and eat his cheap stadium food. Then he could go back to his and Mike's dorm and sleep all the way until Sunday. Yeah, that sounded but like a plan.

They followed the sound of the marching band messing around on their instruments and sure enough, found Ryder, Sebastian, and Jake sitting next to the band members.

Ryder of course, was deep in conversation with his girlfriend Marley, who was a music major and clarinet player in the band. Also their real reason for even coming to the game in the first place.

Finn waved and shot Marley a friendly smile as he and Mike planted themselves in the seats in front of the other three guys, munching on their food as they watched the other students begin to file in and fill the stadium.

"How long do we have to stay here?" Sebastian complained from directly behind him. Finn turned around and saw as Sebastian poked around at his nachos, one arm propped on his knee while he rested his head on that hand.

"We'll stay until halftime, that's when the marching band performs their show. Then we can leave, okay?" Ryder rolled his eyes at his friends.

Sebastian nodded, seemingly happy at that answer. "Good because I'm exhausted. Those extra drills coach is having us do are killing my arms."

"Oh god, I know. He's got me doing the 200m butterfly for the first meet, so he's asked me to lift weights when I can. My upper back kills right now." Jake subconsciously began rubbing his shoulders.

Finn tuned out when they all started talking about the events they were set to do at their first meet next week. While Finn usually joined in enthusiastically because he loved talking about swimming, he wasn't really feeling in the mood right now.

He just continued to observe the students around them, the stands getting more and more crowded as the start of the game approached. It was about twenty minutes until the kickoff and he had already eaten his hotdog.

He poked Mike in the arm. "I'm gonna go get something else to eat. I'm kinda hungry still." Mike said okay and smiled, going back to talking to the other guys.

Finn made his way back down to the concessions stand, a flash of familiar blonde hair catching his eye. He was about to go say hi to Sam when he caught sight of who he was with in line.

He turned right back around, preparing to high-tail it the hell out of the stadium when he almost ran into Sebastian who was coming the opposite way. "Whoa, where you going speedy?" The other boy chuckled, looking up at Finn's pinked face.

"J-just changed my mind. I'm not hungry, I kinda just wanna leave now." Finn said quickly, trying to brush past Sebastian so he could go tell Mike he was leaving.

He didn't think seeing her would affect him like this. But after all their time together, how could he have expected any less? It was a bad idea to come to this game anyways. He should have just told Mike to go on without him. He could be in his warm, safe dorm room right, watching TV and eating stale Cheetos from their tiny little cupboard of food. Honestly, that sounded a lot better than being here with two people that only reminded him of his messy past.

"Hey are you okay?" Sebastian asked, turning more serious as he rested a hand on Finn's shoulder. He looked around to try and see who or what had upset Finn. Because something clearly had.

Finn paused, Sebastian sort of knew what had gone on in high school, but he didn't know the full story. Then again, he was Finn'a friend and even though Sebastian could most definitely be an ass, he was pretty sure Sebastian did care about him to some degree. They had a lot more in common than either of them realized.

He sighed, pulling Sebastian over to the nearest wall and away from the entrance. "See over there?" He pointed to where Sam and Rachel were standing in line. "That girl Sam's with? That's Rachel." Finn sighed.

"Your ex?" Sebastian finished, his eyebrows raising. "Do you think he knows that's who she is?" He wondered aloud.

Finn shrugged. "I don't know. All I do know is that I can't be here right now. I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to come here. It's bad enough that Puck is on the team. Now Rachel is here with Sam? I didn't expect this much of my past to follow me to a big college like this and still linger so close."

Sebastian nodded in understanding. "Look, why don't you head to the car and take your medication? I'll let Mike know you want to leave. It's probably not the best idea for you to be here right now."

Finn tried to send his friend a smile as a thank-you, grateful for the how much he understood, but it ended up looking more like a grimace.

Sebastian turned to go back to the stands so Finn hurried back to the car, reaching into his pocket for his anti-depressants and popping one into his mouth and taking a deep breath of cool air. He just needed to calm down and not think about any of this right now. It was super early in the school year and he couldn't afford to have a breakdown now. Not again, his last breakdown almost caused him to not graduate on time.

He leaned against the car, resting his hands on his knees and focusing on the sound of his own breathing, a tactic he learned from a fellow patient of his old therapist. The screams and cheers from the stadium were still very prevalent though, and he was happy when the sound of footsteps made him look up and Mike was walking towards him.

Mike reached into his pocket and unlocked the car, his eyebrows furrowed as he opened his door and waited to speak when they were both in the car with the doors firmly shut.

"Sebastian told me what happened, Finn. I'm so sorry I made you come out here, it was stupid of me to think there wasn't a chance she'd be here." Mike apologized, smacking the back of his head against his seat as if to chastise himself.

Finn shook his head. "It's not your fault dude, you couldn't have known. And I don't blame you at all. Besides, I thought I was ready, I was hoping I would be so it was my fault. I know my limitations, it's impossible for you to know them too. Guess I still just need a little more time."

"Well we won't be trying this again in the near future. Let's just head back to the dorm and you can lay down, forget about all this." Mike assured him, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

Finn sighed, leaning back in the seat. "I'm sorry you had to leave the game before it even really started."

"Eh, I was only there because of Marley and the band anyways. Besides, you're much more important. I don't want you to get back to you old ways. I promised your mom and Burt that I'd look after you and I intend to do just that." Mike smiled, taking a swig of Gatorade he left in the car after practice as they waited at a stop sign for a car to pass.

He nodded, still feeling a little guilty, but also relieved to have gotten out of there. "Hey, we could try out that new level in Halo we unlocked last night. We haven't had time to try it yet." Finn changed the subject, trying to get himself to think about something else.

Mike chuckled, tapping his thumbs against the steering-wheel. "That's true, we could pull an all-nighter again. I think we still have a six-pack of Code Red and some Red Bulls in the fridge we could use to keep ourselves awake."

Finn chuckled along with him, holding his hand up for a fist bump. "That sounds pretty great, man. Thanks."

Mike nodded and pulled into the dorm room parking lot, swerving into their spot at the last minute and parking before slamming his fist against Finn's. "Don't mention it, bro. Now c'mon. I'll race you up the stairs."

His friend slammed the door shut and locked the car when Finn laughed and got out. They raced towards the stairs as both men acted like children, pushing and pulling each other out of the way as they headed towards their dorm.

If tonight had taught Finn anything, it was that he couldn't just jump back into life headfirst. He needed to take his time after everything he went through. And even though the night had been a total bust, at least he knew he could count on Mike to be the one person always there for him.

* * *

 **Poor Finn is having some problems coping with his past :( But at least he has some good friends to help get him through it. I know we still haven't had any direct Finchel contact yet, but its coming. I had to explain a bit about their lives currently and who is involved. Every good story needs side-characters!**

 **Please review, it means the world to me to see people enjoy what I'm putting out here.**

 **Can we get another 10 reviews before the next chapter?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow. It's been a while since I updated but here I am! This chapter mostly sets up Finchel's first meeting after their breakup so sorry if you were looking forward to that. Not all chapters can be as eventful if I want to tell a coherent story. ;)**

 **Anyways hope you enjoy it, the story will be picking up pace from here.**

 **As always, this story is dedicated to Cory Monteith :)**

* * *

Rachel covered her mouth and yawned, leaning her face against the window of the bus as she fought the urge to fall asleep. Who's cares if she missed her stop? As far as Monday's go, this had been one of the most exhausting ones yet.

She was struggling to get this dance move in class and sprained her ankle trying to do a triple pirouette. As if spraining her ankle wasn't enough, she'd then tumbled into another student and managed to take down three others after that.

It was an embarrassming moment even for her, considering she'd had plenty of those humiliating moments in high school. She was just so damn tired and it was only the first day of the week.

Her quasi-date with Sam had gone well and she'd talked to him once since, having exchanged cell numbers after the game. Turns out he played guitar pretty well and wasn't a bad singer either, giving them something in common.

It was nice to have another friend, she'd pretty much stuck to Santana's side since they'd started here. And he was a good guy even though he was still heartbroken over someone, something she could definitely relate to.

The bus finally hit her stop and she tugged the cord above her, getting a handle on her grocery bags. As broke as she was, she refused to eat some of the food they had available. Not only was most of it unhealthy, but it didn't coincide with her diet and veganism so she had to resort to making her own food from the tiny kitchen area in their dorm.

It was pretty much just a counter and a mini-fridge but she could do some pretty creative things with a salad.

Thankfully it was going to be a relaxing Monday evening though. Santana and Brittany had practice until late tonight so she didn't have to worry about them dragging her somewhere.

She exited the bus and set off down the sidewalk to where her dorm room was. She had just adjusted the bags and got her key out when someone out her name from behind her.

Rachel turned to see Sam jogging toward her. "Hey Rachel!" He grinned and came to a stop beside her.

She faked a smile for his benefit. It's not that she didn't want to talk to him, it was just that she didn't really want to talk anyone right now. She'd had an off day and just wanted to go do some studying and eat her dinner.

"Hi Sam. What brings you around here?" She asked, switching her bag to her other shoulder.

"My dorm is over there. I share it with my friend Sebastian." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to ask you something. Can I help you take those bags upstairs?" He asked, gesturing towards the bags she was saddled down with.

Rachel nodded, passing him her bags of fruit and vegetables while she kept the bag of tofu and soy milk. "That would be great thanks. So what did you want to ask me?"

He followed her up the stairs, scooting over to the other side of the stairs as a couple of girls came sprinting down, clearly eager to get somewhere

"I wanted to invite you to our first swim meet of the season this Friday. It's going to be pretty great, I'm in two events. Brittany is coming too, so you won't feel all alone in the stands."

She thought about his invitation for a moment. On the one hand, she had a lot of coursework to do and she would not get it done by Friday which meant she'd be doing homework all weekend.

But on the other hand, he was her new friend and she wanted to keep it that way. So going to one of his swim meets was her obligation as his friend. Then maybe she could have him come to her first show and she wouldn't look like such a loser with only two friends. Maybe he could even bring his roommate Sebastian?

"Okay. I'd love to go Sam, that sounds like a lot of fun. You'll have to text with the details though. I don't even know where the campus pool is." She giggled, unlocking the dorm room door, thankful that Zizes wasn't back yet.

He followed her in and placed her bags on the counter, smiling. "Great! You'll like it, trust me. The people that go to swim meets are much more laid back. Not like all those stuck up football maniacs. And the meets are usually much shorter than football games. Plus you can meet my friends!"

Rachel smiled and nodded. That did sound like a pretty fun time. And she could always use more friends, especially if they were as nice as Sam.

"I'd love to meet your friends. As you can probably see, I don't have very many people in the friends department." She shrugged, putting the vegetables away in the mini-fridge.

Sam shook his head. "That doesn't matter. All you need is a few really good friends. Have a boatload of friends isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"I suppose that's true. You want something to eat?" She changed the subject, never particularly liking the subject of her social life.

He pulled his hood over his head. "Nah, thanks though. I have to get back to my dorm and study for my Spanish quiz tomorrow. I'll text you the location of the pool later this week. I don't know it off the top of my head."

"Okay, thanks for your help Sam." Rachel walked him to the door and waved at him as he turned down the hall and down the stairs.

Rachel sighed and shut the door, yawning once more as she prepared to make some dinner and turn in for the night.

* * *

Finn blew out his lips, moving back and forth from foot to foot. He ripped his shirt over his head and shoved it into the locker, feeling the nerves bubble up in his stomach.

This was the first swim meet of his college career and he was insanely terrified. The stands were more packed than he expected, especially considering the football team had an away game today and the school usually flocked towards football.

"You okay dude?" Ryder pat him on the back, changing into his swim trunks and taking his swim cap and goggles out of his locker next to Finn's.

Finn nodded. "Yeah I'm good. Just first match jitters I guess." He followed Ryder in getting out his gear before sitting on the bench in front of him.

"You're gonna do great, man." Mike grinned as he sat down next to him, slipping his feet into his flip-flops. "You and I both know you're one of the strongest swimmers on the team. You're going to kill it out there and leave us all looking like babies learning to swim."

Sam chuckled as he walked past, slamming his locker shut. "Mike's right, Finn. And afterwards, we're all gonna head to McKinnleys and hang out, whether we win or lose. There's still next week."

Finn smiled around at all his friends in gratitude. "Thanks guys. You're the best."

He did feel a tiny bit better, knowing that he had so many people around him that supported him and cared no matter how well he did. He couldn't exactly say the same about his other "friends" in high school.

"Oh! And I hope you guys don't mind but I invited a couple more people along. Just Brittany and a couple of her friends."

They all nodded, having met Brittany during the summer and seen her on several occasions.

"Okay guys! Let's gather around over here!" Their coach called from the area near the entrance of the locker rooms.

Their conversation stopped then and they crowded around their coach, listening to his pre-meet pep talk.

After getting hyped up, they filed out in the direction of the pool, the warm chlorine-filled air filling their lungs the second the door opened.

There were people in the stands talking animatedly while the other team came out of the guest locker rooms.

"Alright Lynn, Puckerman, Chang, Phillips, and Henderson. You go warm up first." Coach instructed, "The rest of you go to the benches and familiarize yourselves with the lineup today. We don't need anyone forgetting what events they're doing."

Finn took one of the sheets the coach was passing around, scanning the sheet of paper for his name.

His first event was the 400m freestyle, the seventh even on the list. His second was a relay, his third was the 50m backstroke, and his last event was a medley relay, the second to last event for the night.

Breathing a sigh of relief that he had some more time to get a handle on his nerves before he had to go race, he sat back and scanned the crowd, trying to see if he knew anyone from any of his classes that was here.

He saw a girl in his literature class talking to her boyfriend, a couple guys from his geometry class, and oh, Rachel was here too.

 _Wait._

Rachel was here?!

Jesus, Rachel was actually here. With Brittany and Santana. Shit, his brain didn't even register the fact that there was a possibly Rachel could be that other friend. He figured Santana would be with Brittany, but he didn't know Rachel and Santana were still that close.

He tried to tear his eyes away from her, while sickeningly realizing that she was probably here because she was dating Sam and he asked her to come.

She just looked so beautiful. It was always hard for him to keep his eyes off of her, especially when they were dating. Her hair always had a gorgeous shine, her smile that could cure disease, and her deep brown eyes that he could lose himself in.

Yes, with another sickening jolt in his stomach he admitted to himself that he stilled loved her to pieces, despite the less than amicable way they split.

He studied her as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, chatting idly to Brittany while Santana flicked lazily through her phone.

He couldn't let this ruin his night though. She hadn't seen him yet, but he was sure that when she did, she'd do anything she could to avoid making eye contact with him.

And he was _so_ not going out with them tonight. Not if she was going to be there with her new boyfriend Sam. Ugh gag.

He glared at Sam for good measure, the latter whom didn't even notice Finn was glaring daggers at him.

"Uh, you okay?" Sebastian asked, his eyebrow lifted in confusion as he looked between Finn, and Sam who now had his back to them and was talking to one of the other guys on the team.

"I'm fine." Finn grunted, clenching and unclenching his fists to calm himself down. He was just going to take out his rage on this swim meet. Yeah. He'd channel all his anger and hurt into kicking Sam's- er, kicking the opponents' asses in the water.

And then she'd see what she was missing. What she left behind all those months ago.

"Hudson, Smythe! Quick talking and go warm up!" Coach yelled from the other end of the benches. They glanced at each other and trudged down the deck to the area where the swimmers were diving off and swimming a couple laps to warm up.

He chanced another glance at Rachel to see her looking right at him, like a deer caught in highlights. Here eyes were comically wide and she looked like she was about ready to throw up all over the person in front of her. She must have heard his name when the coach yelled it out.

As he pulled on his swim cap, he watched her grab Santana's elbow, the other girl looking around wildly before spotting him and narrowing her eyes.

That was when he looked away. Santana had always scared him a little and now was no exception. He could feel them still looking at him as he got into position on the platform next to Sebastian and dove in, trying to pretend like he wasn't currently in the presence of his ex-girlfriend. Easy-peasy right?

* * *

 _What the actual hell?_

It was like someone up there had something against her and was doing everything in their power to make sure she had the worst week possible.

Finn was here. Since when did he swim? Why didn't Sam tell her Finn was one of his friends?

She had watched Mike hang out with Sam ever since the former had come out of the water after finishing his warm-ups. And she knew for a fact that Finn and Mike were still best-friends.

Surely then Sam knew about their history and why she couldn't possibly stay in the presence of her ex-boyfriend for longer than five minutes.

It wasn't that she hated him. On the contrary, she loved him so much that it was painful to be around him. But she was also scared to be around him. She was the one who broke up with him and while it wasn't something she wanted to do, it happened that way. And she would never be able to forget the look of utter despair and sadness on his face when she did so.

"Santana, what do I do?" Rachel asked shakily, watching his toned back as he swam him laps across the pool with ease.

Her friend shook her head. "There's nothing to do, Berry. You two are broken up, finite, donezo. There's no reason for you to be freaking out right now."

Rachel shot Santana a deadly look. "You know things are never that simple, San. This is Finn we're talking about. You remember all that happened right?"

"Sure. Finn went bananas, starting treating you and everyone else like shit, so you dumped him." She shrugged.

"Santana!" Rachel hissed angrily, slapping her friend roughly on the arm. "First of all, I didn't ask you to repeat anything. We're in public. And second of all, you know that's not all that happened."

Santana laughed at Rachel's feeble attempt to be intimidating. "Sorry. I forget how sensitive you still are about the whole thing. I really just think you should ignore it, and ignore him. Nothing good can come from opening up all wounds. If he goes with us to McKinnleys tonight just pretend like he's not there. Shouldn't be very hard considering our group will be pretty big."

Rachel nodded at her friends instructions, taking in every word like it would somehow save her life. "Okay, okay." She muttered to herself as Santana and Brittany exchanged glances.

"Now shut up. The meet is about to begin." Santana clicked her phone off and focused on the action in front of them.

Rachel tried desperately to do the same, but her eyes couldn't help it wander towards a certain tall, freckled, messy haired swimmer who was towering over the rest of the men around him, the coach included.

God he looked good. Clearly being on the swim team agreed with him. His upper body was even more finely sculpted than it was in high school and his lopsided smile was just as deadly. He could still disarm her with one look and she'd happily comply with whatever he wanted.

"You could stop with the puppy dog looks his way though." Santana leaned over and whispered in her ear, making Rachel blush pink.

She cleared her throat and turned away, her eyes straining to look back at her ex but instead they focused on the score board, watching the time run on the clock.

The rest of the meet was honestly a blur to her and she was embarrassed to admit that she didn't pay much attention unless Finn was swimming in the event.

It had only been a little less than a year since they broke up, so she couldn't exactly blame herself for being hung up on him.

She didn't even know that it had ended until Santana poked her side to get her attention. "It's time to go Berry. Geez, you fall asleep with your eyes open or something? I've been calling your name for like two minutes now."

"Sorry," Rachel cleared her throat, dusting off an imaginary ball of fluff to bust her hands, "I guess I'm just a bit tired. It's been a long week."

Santana clearly didn't believe her, but she didn't say anything else about the matter, standing up and holding Brittany's hand.

"Okay, well lets go meet the guys outside. I only came along because guppy-mouth said he'd pay for drinks and chicken wings at the bar." Santana tugged Brittany to the exit where some people were already filing out while others were waiting around and talking.

Rachel followed silently, deciding to speak up when they'd gotten outside into the cool air. "I think I'm just going to go back to my dorm and sleep. I don't really feel like going to a bar tonight."

Santana stopped and placed her hands on her hips. "Nope. No way Berry, you are not going to chicken out. Just because your ex is going to be there, does not mean you need to run the other way. I'm sure Finn's not going to chicken out just because your coming along."

Rachel groaned, slouching her shoulders and almost stomping her foot like a petulant child. "I don't want to San. I'm not a drinker anyways."

"This isn't just about getting a drink. You can't be afraid to go out with your friends because of a guy. Eventually you just have to buck up and stop throwing yourself a pity party everytime something goes wrong." Santana grabbed her shoulders.

Brittany nodded in agreement. "She's right, Rachel. We've all had to deal with our ex's at one time or another. You can do this." Brittany reached down and squeezed her hand.

Rachel sighed heavily and squeezed Brittany's hand back. They were right. She was making this into a way bigger deal that it needed to be. This was Finn they were talking about and no matter their relationship status, she knew he'd always respect her.

So she breathed out a heavy sigh to calm he returned nerves and smiled at them. "Okay. Let's do this."

They grinned back and each slung an arm between hers, waiting for the guys to come out. Yeah. She could definitely do to this. Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

 **Reviews are love :D**


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